Mike's mad world

WWW.ICKYBOOBLOG.TK

2008-12-11T00:42:09Z

Sorry but we have moved yet AGAIN! but this time we have our own server and can do all sorts of cool things!

Goto HTTP://WWW.ICKYBOOBLOG.TK from now on please.

Thanks from the team at ickyboo's!

Quote of the Day:
Some people regard discipline as a chore. For me, it is a kind of order that sets me free to fly.
--Julie Andrews

Site has moved! Sorry! :) www.ickybooblog.tk

2008-12-08T01:00:48Z

Well.. After having a talk with a friend I've decided to move to WordPress! Live Journal is just a lil limiting on what I want to do with this blog!

The new address is http://ickybooblog.tk please visit as I shall be not posting to this page much anymore

"The Departed" Based on real person? Pfft!

2008-12-07T22:12:14Z

It seems The Independent UK has a interesting article on the movie The Departed and how its based on a real person who is now facing jail time, But what they failed to realize is that the movie isn't based on a real person but based on a real movie. That movie happens to be a HK movie Infernal Affairs! The movie they should really have quoted it being should have been Donnie Brasco

A NEW face to watch out for

2008-12-07T21:51:06Z

Bert and Ernie to appeal to teens

2008-12-07T21:48:32Z

With Sesame Street down on ratings and Elmo taking all the lime light our favorite life partners Bert and Ernie have started their own record label and below is their first single to drop! It will be on itunes ready for Xmas!

NINTENDO's new MACHINE!

2008-12-07T21:45:43Z

We here at Polity.ca strive to bring you the latest and greatest news on tech, Now we have a scoop! Its been said that Nintendo has been working on a updated WII with more CPU power so it can display graphics found on the Xbox360 / Ps3

We now have in house video showing what the next Mario Cart will look like with the new Nintendo machine code name "Nindendo PeE" With some In game vid capture!

They DON'T SLEEP!! And they are in your room partying!

2008-12-07T10:11:11Z

I've always had this fear that my toys used to come to life after I sleep, Well my worst fears have come true!

Nokia TURNS me on for ONCE

2008-12-07T09:59:38Z

Hold the presses! Hot news.. Yes I said Nokia turns me on. People who know me know that I'm a HARDCORE windows Mobile fan. Have been for 9 years.But with the pics and specs of Nokia's new baby N97 I think I finally found a decent Nokia/Symbian Phone. If only I had not preorded my Kogan Google Android phone. But either way this phone would prob cost $700US which is WAY too expensive compared to my kogan which is only $256US delivered internationaly. Also Nokia seem to have stolen the design of the N97 from HTC and their KAISER/TILT . Word has it this N97 has either 20 or 32 GIGS of internal memory. that's right ! 20 to 32 GIGS!!!

Here's a Link to video

MMORPG Show FTW!

2008-12-07T09:56:16Z

The Guild - Episode 1: Wake-up Call - For more of the funniest videos, click here

The other day I was on Xbox Live and noticed they had this show for free download. I said what the heck its free I'll give it a go. Anyhoo Its got to be the most funny thing I've seen in a while (since Red Vs Blue). Please watch it! You'll understand all the geeky RPG references if your a geek like me. Also the girl is rather CUTE!

Also goto their youtube group!

Buy a NDS, fund TERRORISM!

2008-12-07T09:51:26Z

It might seem like I'm on a Nintendo bashing mood but I came across this article on BBC UK.

"When you buy these goods, you're not funding our economy, you're actually funding criminals in these far off places and it could be linked to terrorism,"

Story is about dodgy/fake Nintendo DS's with bad power packs / chargers . But I just LOVE how they put the terrorism spin on it!.

So yeah! Buy that cheap NDS and help fund terrorism! don't worry about the poor Asian workers making about 50cents a day!

O Noz! No more copy catz?

2008-12-07T09:50:17Z

It seems the day of DRM might be over if them pesky scientists get their way with a new method of detecting ORIGINAL and COPIED media (YAY!). But when you think of it , That also might stop or slow down console mods especially playing backed up games. Might also mean your home/car stereo might not even play burnt CD's. I'm hoping this is one of them "boy who called wolf" stories and they don't actually start using this new tech!. Besides who plays backed up copies? (Winks)

Kangaroo made Android Phones

2008-12-07T09:49:53Z

Its a slow day so I'd thought I'd share with you guys what I've pre-ordered a few days ago. Its a Australian Google Android phone (Kogan Agora) at a AMAZING price compared to the T-Mobile G1 which is about $700AU$+ on EBay. It works out to be about $450AU$. Sure its screen isn't a high resolution at the G1 but it does pack a faster processor! You can order one from Kogan now for international deliveries!

All monies on Kogan site is calculated in AU$ but you can use xe.com to work it out quickly

Marketing for IDIOTS

2008-12-07T09:49:01Z

I've always been interested in marketing. Ever since I was young I've always wondered how stores like Safeway/Warmart organize their shops. This story has absolutely nothing to do with that :) . This is a fun site for the top ten Major Marketing Spectacles

Mama was RIGHT! Doh!

2008-12-07T09:48:30Z

You know how mum used to tell you off for picking your nose when you was small? well it seems she's right after all! ouch.!

pub

2008-09-10T13:22:03Z

just gave mum the eeepc as i've lost interest in it after playing with it for a few hours. i don't know why everyone is all over hyped as the machine is quite slow even with a gig of ram . the os is quite restrictive and aimed at newbies like my parents. overall i have given up on the machine and not even going to bother to install windows xp on it. people should only buy it as a cheap small web browser .

eeepc

2008-09-10T05:54:45Z

currently waiting in line to pickup my eeepc linux based umpc and extra 1 gig so dimm for it. then head home to fix sisters dead lappy

The never ending search for a decent Pocket PC Live Journal Client

2008-09-09T18:04:22Z

In my search i've come across something very odd, The site www.cellspin.net , It gives you a app to download that allows you to use their site which in turn posts to LiveJournal and a host of other blogs they support. They even post to FaceBook and Ebay!

Give it a GO and you'll see what I mean.
Its also good for people with a few different Blogs to mass announce something.

www.cellspin.net

On a different note I've found a app called Dashwire that is like a mobile twitter app thing, but best of all it syncs your Contacts online.

icarus21 @ 2002-12-25T03:26:00

2002-12-24T16:25:27Z

Making Sandwich

There is this guy and this girl and they want to have
sex. So, they go to the girl's house and before entering
her room, the girl stops and says, "My little sister sleeps
on the bottom bunk of our bed and I do not want her to
know what we are doing. So when I say, 'Baloney,' it
means push harder, and when I say, 'Pastrami,' it means push softer."

With this, the two get onto the top bunk and have sex.
First, the girl moans, "Baloney! Baloney! Baloney!" Then,
she shouts, "Pastrami! Pastrami! Pastrami!" Then, she
changes back to, "Baloney! Baloney! Baloney!"

Finally, the girl's sister yells, "Will you guys quit making
sandwiches up there? You're getting mayonnaise all over me!"
****

Chalkboard

A teacher walks into class one day and sees a drawing on
the chalk board ; its a little penis, she just ignores it and uses the eraser and rubs it off. The next day, the teacher walks in and there's another drawing of a penis but its bigger, she just rubs it off with an eraser. The next day she walks in and there's a huge penis drawn on the board, she gets mad and says "does any body know anything
about the drawing on the board?" and pervert Roger says "the more you
rub it the bigger it gets"

****

Dog's Name

Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy"...
But,I call my dog "Sex".

Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went
to get his license, I told the clerk I would like to
have a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like to have one
too." Then I said, "But this is a dog." He said I
didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, "You
don't understand, I've had Sex since I was 9 year
old." He said I must have been quite a kid.

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took
the dog with me. I told the hotel clerk that I wanted
a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex.
He said that every room in the place was for sex. I
said, "You don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at
night." The Clerk said "Me too."

One day I entered Sex in a contest but before the
competition began, the dog ran away. Another
contestant asked me why I was just standing there
looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex
entered in the contest. He told me that I should have
sold tickets. "But you don't understand", I said, "I
had hoped to have Sex on television." He called me a
show-off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to file
for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex
before I got married." The judge said "Me too." Then I
told him that after I was married, Sex had left me. He
said, "Me too."

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking
around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked
"What are you doing in this alley at 4 in the
morning?" I said, "I'm looking for Sex..."

My case comes up on Friday...

****

laundry time

A happily married couple decide that instead of
mentioning sex in front of their children they would
refer to the dirty deed as "doing the laundry". One
evening after dinner the husband says to his wife
"Let's go up stairs and do the laundry." The wife
replies "Not now I've got a headache.".
Later on whilst watching telly the wife says "Darling
let's go do the laundry now". He replies "It's OK
honey I only had a half load so I did it earlier by
hand".

****

A tale of three naked holy man

A minister, a priest and a rabbi were enjoying the serenity of
a country dipping pond.

Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and
jumped in the water. Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a
few berries while enjoying their "freedom."

As they were crossing an open area, a group of very old ladies from
town approached them. Unable to get to their clothes in time, the
minister and the priest covered their privates and the rabbi covered
his face while they ran for cover.

After the ladies left and the men got their clothes back on,
the minister and the priest asked the rabbi why he covered
his face rather than his privates.

The rabbi replied...

"I don't know about you, but in MY congregation, it's my FACE that
they would recognize."

****

a guy is done having a physical exam by his new doctor, and he is told to get dresses. afterward, the doctor says,"everything's fine except for one thing."
the guy asks,"what is it?"
the doctor says,"it's your orange penis! tell me, do you happen to handle hazardous chemicals at work?"
the guy says,"no, i don't even have a job at the moment."
the doctor asks,"do you have a history of this condition in your family?"
the guy replies,"not that i know of."
the doctor asks,"what do you do then?"
the guy says,"i mostly sit around, watching pornos and eating Cheetos.

****

Did you hear about the 10 year old boy who asked his recently divorced mother her age? She told him that was not a question to ask and that he shouldn't ask it again.

He then asked her her weight. She once again told him that she wouldn't answer the question and that he shouldn't ask it again.

The next question he asked was why she and Daddy got divorced. Once again she told him that it was not a question he should ask, and to not ask that question again. He went away.

A few minutes later, she found him digging in her purse. She asked what he was doing and as he turned towards his mother, he beamingly told her he had found all of the answers to his questions by looking at her driver's license.
He said, "Mother, you are 34 years old, weigh 125 pounds and Daddy divorced you because you got an 'F' in sex."

icarus21 @ 2002-12-09T03:48:00

2002-12-08T16:48:01Z

BlackDeth> i like stalked this girl sorta :D
BlackDeth> like once she asked me for a ride home from work
BlackDeth> and i took her home... i dropped her off at her house
BlackDeth> and shes like... wait a minute..how did you know where i lived?

CrazyDe> some dude on ebay is threatening to sue me for copyright infringement
Guilty> Did you claim to be the Real Slim Shady?

DigDug> warez > sex
kisama> it is true.
kisama> i'd rather watch a progress bar than have sex.

Dr_DOS> Cducharme: no wonder you get all the women, you choose all the ugly ones =)

Leaf-> Gran Turismo is hard
Mootar> quit callin me gran turismo

ILLogik> i was having cybersex with this chick but she wouldn't go all the way so i had to rape her

Keris> hes gotta damn kid and a wife. he must get some
DigDug> from the kid
Keris> even better

[@smcn] like #bearcave. you wouldn't expect it to be a gay channel. YOU WOULD EXPECT IT TO BE A CHANNEL ABOUT BEARS WOULDN'T YOU

Acero> i'm going to try natural penis enlargement ok?
Acero> if it works i'll let you guys know and we can be the channel with the biggest penises on efnet
WwMrTwW> penis pump!? weights? implants!?
Acero> it's some excercise you do with your hand

more quotes from IRC

2002-12-08T16:23:23Z

you know how they have the /whois command, they should have a /whowas command to see who people were after they quit.
they do, goemon
damn.
my mom must have dropped
me

wouldn't it be great if someone made a program where we could connect to a server and chat with each other in channels we create?

<_riddler_> i was in the grocery store today
<_riddler_> and I got this boner
<_riddler_> I dunno
<_riddler_> Maybe it was the melons
Riddler: YOU SAW THE CARROTS

i remember in 8th grade health class we had some guy from a std clinic come in
and he was talking about porn mags
and some kid was like 'what about playboy?'
and the guy was like 'well some consider that to be more of a softcore magazine'

give me a chick with lips the size of that guy from aerosmith or something
why dont you just get the guy from aerosmith

you know you've just experienced an odd moment at 3:30am when you're completely naked making an away msg for aim and your dad (clothed only in breifs) strolls by, waves, and says, "i thought i smelled something. oh well, night!", and walks off

take a hot swedish chick from behind, bend over to her ear. and whisper "i have aids", then try to keep your penis inside of her.
thats swedish rodeo.

but if i ever hit a deer with my car i'll be damned if i don't try to finish it off, i'll need the food after all my money is fixing the car#@$#@

one day I will kill ever person on earth who says 'u' instead of 'u'
err
Ohtani: Planning a suicide run?

Funny IRC comments

2002-12-08T16:10:52Z

"My family was asking me all these nosey-ass questions, 'When are you going to find a woman?', 'When are you going to get married?', 'When are you going to have childeren?', then my grandmother was like "Maybe he donesn't like chochate..." and I was like "it's not like I don't like chochlate, it's that I don't like it without nuts."
"So my uncle was like "You're gay?! You don't look gay!!", so I said "Yes, I'm one of the newer models, I'm a stealth fag."

I once saw on an import Gundam toy "Dont break steamy translucent fabric or new one will come"
wait that was a pack of Japanese condoms

<|404notfound> They need to make keyboards without the caps lock button, and then give the buttons to martial arts masters.
<|404notfound> "Only when you can snatch the caps lock from my hand may you yell incessantly like an idiot."

i bet #mensa is like #lesbians .. except it's a bunch of retards pretending to be smart, instead of a bunch of guys pretending to be lesbians.

once sex tv showed a room full of women masturbating
it was an "orgasm class"
and they all go there
did you tape it?
and in a group
finger themselves.
Umm
No.
bastard
I was uhh....
taking notes?

There should be holes in massage tables so if you get an erection when you're getting a massage, you can just put it in the hole, so you don't have to stick your ass in the air.
There should also be midgets under the tables. Midgets who need the money.

HOT HOT CHICK WAS LOOKIN AT ME
so i was smilin at her and she smilied back
so i walked over to her and she kept staring where i was sitting at
and she had a cane
i realized she was blind

Heh. You people don't want to hear how one of my ex-bosses performed a mercy killing on a family's cat at their request.

Yes we do
I actually think it's quite funny.

come on!! Mercy killings!

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<me^2>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

<Foxie> "My family was asking me all these nosey-ass questions, 'When are you going to find a woman?', 'When are you going to get married?', 'When are you going to have childeren?', then my grandmother was like "Maybe he donesn't like chochate..." and I was like "it's not like I don't like chochlate, it's that I don't like it without nuts."
<Foxie> "So my uncle was like "You're gay?! You don't look gay!!", so I said "Yes, I'm one of the newer models, I'm a stealth fag."

<Rory> I once saw on an import Gundam toy "Dont break steamy translucent fabric or new one will come"
<Rory> wait that was a pack of Japanese condoms

<|404notfound> They need to make keyboards without the caps lock button, and then give the buttons to martial arts masters.
<|404notfound> "Only when you can snatch the caps lock from my hand may you yell incessantly like an idiot."

<flawed> i bet #mensa is like #lesbians .. except it's a bunch of retards pretending to be smart, instead of a bunch of guys pretending to be lesbians.

<FLB> once sex tv showed a room full of women masturbating
<FLB> it was an "orgasm class"
<FLB> and they all go there
<Kamikaze_Watermelon> did you tape it?
<FLB> and in a group
<FLB> finger themselves.
<FLB> Umm
<FLB> No.
<Kamikaze_Watermelon> bastard
<FLB> I was uhh....
<FLB> taking notes?

<Mike_Works> There should be holes in massage tables so if you get an erection when you're getting a massage, you can just put it in the hole, so you don't have to stick your ass in the air.
<Mike_Works> There should also be midgets under the tables. Midgets who need the money.

<Veor> HOT HOT CHICK WAS LOOKIN AT ME
<Veor> so i was smilin at her and she smilied back
<Veor> so i walked over to her and she kept staring where i was sitting at
<Veor> and she had a cane
<Veor> i realized she was blind

<gleep> Heh. You people don't want to hear how one of my ex-bosses performed a mercy killing on a family's cat at their request.
<Sypher-Ryn> Yes we do
<gleep> I actually think it's quite funny.
<Sypher-Ryn> come on!! Mercy killings!
<me^2> tell us
<DrCloud> o.O;
<ashie> O.O
<gleep> He was visiting a cousin's family, they lived out on in the country. While he was there, they told them about their cat that was really old, and had gotten quite sick. The vet had told them they should have it put to sleep. But they just couldn't do it... they started to drive it the 20 miles to the vet a couple times but never got very far.
<gleep> So when he was talking to their dad, he said he could take care of it. He had his pistol in his truck. So that evening he finds the cat and takes it out back of the house.
<gleep> (Don't read this, sensative viewers! ) So he's out there with his 357, looking down at the cat, who really /was/ in horrible shape. So he's about to shoot the cat when... Something came over him. He stuck his foot under the cat and kicked it into the air... and shot it midair. The 357 blew the poor critter to bits. Then he turns around and sees... The ENTIRE FAMILY staring at him through the picture window.
<FJ> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
<ashie> best story ever

Saikoesis: 2. A Singapore singing group by the name of "The Oriental
Singers," sang non-stop for 74 hours and five minutes.
XDarkMindedX: Is that when they got taken out by snipers?

<Valqorez> I didn't even get laid
<Valqorez> but there's always tomoromw
<McCormick> won't happend
<McCormick> you"'l have a headache
<Valqorez> Nope - I dont have hangovers
<Daedalus> you're going about it wrong
<Daedalus> YOU getting drunk won't get you laid
<Daedalus> getting the girl drunk will get you laid :)

<Melchizedek> hmm..listening to songs without the eq turned on is strangely empty yet pure
<Crimsonmonkey> like masturbating

Acire1134:Damn dog keeps fallin off my clock
Impala33157:O.O
Impala33157:I SO read that wrong

<Carlton> "listening socket" = 11,100 google hits. "passive socket" = 1,240 google hits.
<Carlton> listening wins. :)
<Carlton> We should just let Google make all our decisions for us.
<_Bunny> Carlton: "gay" has 65,000,000 hits. "straight" has 14,300.000.

<Wealllike> what this "uber" you see so often?
<timmo> uber - german for over or above
<Wealllike> I know that
<Wealllike> I'm german
<Wealllike> but you write it ü
<Wealllike> über
<Inuki> how appropriate. a german being a spelling nazi :P

<dcsteve> is there a way to easily convert a mac game to pc
<SinisterTengu> yeah...I don't think you can just "convert" it
<dcsteve> why not
<dcsteve> mac and pc keyboards are virtually the same

<Erth2rst> I'm seventeen years old, I'm home alone, sitting here naked, and I'm rubbing my nipples.
<Erth2rst> If only I were female..

<DigDug> i think i'm gonna walk to the movie theater and see dinosaur...
<kimy-> and be surrounded by like 10 year old girls?
<Amanda_> He said Dinosaur, not N'Sync.

<watashi-x> Oh my God! Are you attemping to DoS me?
<Polymer> WTF are you talking about dumb ass
<Polymer> I can't get into your MS-DOS

<wecell> new apples look fairly interesting, but i'd hate to buy into something that is going to CRASH all the time.
<DigDug> wecell : What are you using right now?
<wecell> i've always used windows machines.

<TOZTWO> I was kinda shy, and still am, so right after sex, I started getting dressed before she could turn on the lights......
<TOZTWO> Well, she turns the light on, and I have my clothes on already, and she can't find her undies.......
<TOZTWO> But she finds my undies next to the bed.
<TOZTWO> Guess whose undies I'm wearing?

<ckx> women ask for it
<ckx> they act all old and mature
<ckx> and then you stick your cock up their ass
<ckx> and they get all bitchy
<ckx> "I"M ONLY 13, I'M ONLY 13!!!"

<pezmasta> my band is gonna be called: rage against the answering machine

<EM[mMF]> man
<EM[mMF]> unix manuals would be so much cooler
<EM[mMF]> if they had porn in them
<EM[mMF]> like "Basics of the Bash Shell"
<EM[mMF]> <LESBIAN PORN>
<EM[mMF]> i'd read that shit

icarus21 @ 2002-12-03T01:40:00

2002-12-02T14:38:34Z

Two cowboys walk in to a roadhouse to wash the trail dust from their throats.

They stand at the bar, drinking their beers and talking quietly about cattle prices.

Suddenly a woman at a table behind them, who has been eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so it becomes apparent that she is in real distress, and the cowboys turn to look at her.

"Kin ya swaller?" asks one of the cowboys.

The woman signals No, desperately shaking her head.

"Kin ya breathe?" asks the other.

The woman, beginning to turn a little blue, shakes her head "No" again.

The first cowboy walks over to her, lifts up the back of her skirt, yanks down her pants, and slowly runs his tongue up and down her butt crack. This shocks the woman to a violent spasm, the obstruction flies out of her mouth, and she begins to breath again.

The cowboy slowly walks back over to the bar and proudly takes a drink of his beer.

His partner says in inspiration, "Ya know, I'd heard of that there Hind Lick Manoeuvre, but I ain't never seen nobody do it."

icarus21 @ 2002-12-01T21:44:00

2002-12-01T10:44:03Z

[09:41pm] ·hazza-· there was a young vampire named mable
[09:41pm] ·hazza-· who's periods where really quite stable
[09:41pm] ·hazza-· and every full moon
[09:41pm] ·hazza-· she'd get out a spoon
[09:41pm] ·hazza-· and drink herself under the table

icarus21 @ 2002-11-15T15:54:00

2002-11-15T04:53:40Z

I went to see a movie the other day called "Spirited Away." It's a Japanese cartoon (known as anime to the elite) that Disney had the unusual foresight to bring to the US. I was standing in line listening to the elated nerds in front of me when I saw a guy walking down the stairs with the biggest tits I'd ever seen. He was wearing a shirt with some female cartoon characters with Japanese writing on it, his entire mass jiggling back and forth as he slothed his way into the line. He stood in line behind me and was eventually joined by his nerd posse, all of whom had equally massive tits (I'd go so far as to say that the tits would have been boner inducing if they didn't belong to these guys, and trust me, they didn't belong).

We were eventually let into the theater and I sat and waited as the nerds piled in one after another until the cheese-like stench of the unshowered pseudo-intellectuals was overwhelming. There was every type of nerd imaginable, all wearing geeky anime shirts that don't fit because they were made for Japanese school girls (Hello Kitty). While I was waiting for the movie to start, I noticed something that I had never noticed before: a secret nerd social structure! I wasn't surrounded by ordinary nerds, but rather by mega nerds with specific roles. Here are the types of nerds I found:

1. The "I wish I was Japanese" anime nerd:
Everyone knows someone like this. They refer to themselves as "otaku" and they embrace everything Japanese, not necessarily because it's something unique or interesting, but because it's Japanese. They wear clothing with Japanese or Chinese characters on it that translate to english phrases like "good will" or "long life." They wouldn't be able to get away with wearing a shirt that said "long life" in english because it would just look stupid, but as soon as it's translated into kanji it suddenly becomes cool and mysterious? Please. Since they'll sooner die than admit that their fascination with everything Japanese is a sham, you'll occasionally sense how uneasy they become when confronted with something Japanese that's so lame and obviously for little girls that they almost start to back off from the mountain of stupid they've climbed up on. Almost.

2. The balding gothic loser with an ugly girlfriend nerd:
This is a goth who's so much of a loser that he's even shunned by other goth losers. A telltale characteristic of this nerd is his inability to stop deep throating his ugly girlfriend in public. They not only kiss, but they kiss in the most vulgar way possible (full on tongue and groping). As if it wasn't bad enough that they're both kicking the funk, they usually sport massive pizza-face crater acne. Barf!

3. The big-titted lardass nerd:
If this type of nerd was a soup, he would be Campbell's: Thick and Chunky. Girls usually refer to this nerd as "a nice guy," and despite every girl's wish for a nice guy, they'd sooner be shot than date, let alone bang a guy like this. This type of nerd is usually very sensitive and introverted. You can get away with punching this nerd in the face because he's too much of a pussy to do anything about it. However, you can expect to find an entry about what an asshole you are in his blog several days later. And don't expect to be invited to any Magic: The Gathering parties he hosts any time soon.

4. The nerd leader:
This is the "cool" nerd of the group. The nerd all other nerds aspire to be. You can tell which one is the nerd leader by watching his posse swarm around his every move. No lesser nerd dares speak against the nerd leader's opinion on cartoons, sci-fi movies or debates about which Star Wars characters are able to defeat jedis "if only they learned to use the force." The nerd leader revels in being able to boss around all the other nerds and does so as often as he can to make up for his utter inability to boss anyone else around in his life. This nerd is usually tough shit until you point out the fact that he's 36 and still lives at home.

5. The "Silent Bob" trench coat mullet nerd:
Tries to look intimidating but ends up just looking stupid as he clumsily trips over his trench coat. Usually has shaving scars and a patchy, random-ass beard because he can't grow facial hair. Thinks he's the character "Silent Bob" from the movie Clerks. Pretends to be above it when other nerds laugh at nerd jokes, secretly goes home and cries himself to sleep.

These are the main nerd classifications, there are others but I'm afraid I might start watching Babylon 5 if I don't stop here.

icarus21 @ 2002-11-15T01:46:00

2002-11-14T14:45:52Z

THE PERFECT DAY - FOR HER

8.15 Wake up to hugs and kisses.

8.30 Weigh in 2Kg lighter than yesterday.

8.45 Breakfast in bed, freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants, open presents - expensive jewellery chosen by thoughtful partner.

9.15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil.

10.00 Light work out at club with handsome funny personal trainer.

10.30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, condition, blow dry.

12.00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe.

12.45 Catch sight of husband/boyfriend's ex and notices she has gained 17kg.

1.00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit.

3.00 Nap.

4.00 Three dozen roses delivered by florist, card is from secret admirer.

4.15 Light work out at club, followed by massage from strong but gentle hunk who says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body.

5.30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe, parade before full length mirror.

7.30 Candle lit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners/dancers.

10.00 Hot shower (alone).

10:50 Carried to bed . . . (freshly ironed, crisp, new, white linen).

11.00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling.

11.15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms.

--------------------------------------------

THE PERFECT DAY - FOR HIM

6.00 Alarm.

6.15 Blow job.

6.30 Massive satisfying dump while reading the sports section.

7.00 Breakfast: rump steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by naked buxom wench who bends over a lot

7.30 Limo arrives.

7.45 Several Beers en-route to airport.

9.15 Flight in personal Lear Jet.

9.30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route).

9.45 Play front nine - 2 under.

11.45 Lunch - Pie, chips and gravy, 3 lagers and a bottle of Dom Perignon.

12.15 Blow job.

12.30 Play back nine (of golf course) - 4 under.

2.15 Limo back to the airport (Several Bourbons).

2.30 Fly to Cairns.

3.30 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female crew, all nude who also bend over a lot .

4.30 Land world record Marlin (1234lbs) - on light tackle.

5.00 Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle McPherson (bending over...naturally).

6.45 Shit, Shower and Shave.

7.00 Watch news: Michael Jackson assassinated; porn legalised.

7.30 Dinner: lobster appetisers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet steak followed by Ice-cream served on a big pair of tits.

9.00 Napoleon Brandy and Habanos cigar in front of wall-size TV as you watch match of the day; Waratahs smash Hurricanes 76 - 0

9.30 Sex with three women (all with lesbian tendencies... some bending over).

11.00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing ale.

11.30 A night cap blow job.

11.45 In bed alone.

11.50 A 22 second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room.